Being There… Even When It Hurts

And this one is going to hurt… and that’s something I’ve known for a while.  The truth of the matter is that I started writing about this topic last year this time and quit on it because I didn’t want to even think about it.  Recently though I’ve been thinking more about why I started blogging in the first place.  My reasons for starting had nothing to do with traffic, clicks, impressions, advertising or anything like that.  It was all about talking about my journey and using the lessons that I learned along the way to encourage and empower others that may be facing similar challenges.  

Before my divorce and before my kids and I were separated by distance and time I was probably on the ‘criticizing absent fathers’ bandwagon.  Perspective is an incredible thing though. The realization of just how difficult and emotionally taxing it is to maintain a relationship with your kids over space and time should not be under estimated.  In the spirit of complete honesty I can say that there were times when I was really low that I would think that it would be easier to sever all ties to save my sanity and protect my emotional stability.  I’m sure that there are many that have had these same thoughts and have done exactly that and while I still don’t believe that is the right course of action, I am no longer so quick to criticize it.  

Today, however, my goal is to encourage others that may be feeling that it might be easier to cut all ties, please don’t.  Your kids need you, even when it feels like they don’t.  They love you, even when they’re angry and say they hate you.  And let’s face it, you love them, unconditionally (I’m tearing up as I write this thinking about my kids) and that’s why it hurts so much.  You want to be completely involved, and for whatever reason you can’t.  Whether it’s distance, the court system or a bitter former partner that’s separating you, fight through it.  Find a way to be there, even when it hurts.  Trust me on this one… at the end of the journey you’ll thank yourself for sticking it out.  Your kids will thank you for sticking it out.  They might never truly understand the sacrifices you made to find a way to be in their lives but that’s not what’s important.  What is important is that you’re there in whatever way you can be.  So be there… and if you need encouragement, advice or ideas there are people willing to help, myself included. You’re not alone in this.  



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